Probably the most important component to avoiding a violent crime is becoming comfortable and committed to misjudging the situation and erring on the side of safety.

Like the woman in my last article who chose to growl and menace an innocent stranger rather than take a chance that he was actually an attacker. Waiting until you are sure that you’re in an attack situation generally means the person has their hands around your throat before you react. Don’t misunderstand me, any person is still quite capable of defending themselves at this point but it is certainly going about it the hard way.

It is to our credit that we do not wake up every morning, brush our teeth and contemplate violence to ourselves and others. This, however, can work to our disadvantage if we do not address the fact that violent crime is prevalent in our society and some preparation and training is required.

Here is the psychology behind this. The first response of almost every person to an unexpected attack is to say to themselves, “This is not happening to me.” The attacker gets closer and, once again the person says “This is not happening to me.” The attacker grabs them and he/she says, “This cannot be happening to me.” The next day in the hospital guess what he/she says? “This did not happen to me.” This is typical, normal and understandable behavior. Unfortunately, this process pretty much guarantees you become a victim of violent crime.

The alternative is to develop a trust in your feelings and a commitment to your personal safety so you go from “This cannot be happening to me,” to “This is happening to me, I hate it, but it is real,” as fast as possible. The faster a person goes from this cannot be happening, to this is real, the safer they will be. Remember, being committed to totally freaking someone out if you are wrong is fundamental to acting quickly. After all, who cares if some stranger you will never see again thinks you are a nut case.

If, in fact, 90% of all attacks are avoidable if you know what to look for and trust your feelings and you only have to last 15 seconds to have a 95% chance of winning the attack, the sooner you recognize any dangerous situation and react to your feelings the easier it is to be a non victim of violent crime. If you recognize a potentially dangerous situation when the person or persons that make you feel uncomfortable are still 50 feet away and you are willing to risk being wrong, then to winning the 15 second time clock is relatively simple.

Let me give you a couple of tools that have worked well for me and my students over the years. I could be kayaking, sitting across the a desk negotiating a new business deal or walking through an underground parking lot and a little red flag pops in my conscience. I ask myself one question “Am I happy now?” If the answer is no then I ask myself a second question, “Will I ever be happy in a situation like this?” If the answer is no, I have just given myself all the information I need-

1. I do not like what is currently going on.

2. I would never like what is currently going on.

I act and I do whatever it takes to remove myself from the situation.

One last idea- in crisis psychology, when surprised by an emergency, people tend to immediately ask themselves “What do I do, what do I do?” If they answer themselves “I do not know,” that is when people panic. But if a person answers themselves “Let’s try this.” If what was tried does not work, people tend to continue trying other things until they come up with a solution.

In short, they become problem-solvers, not victims of circumstance. It is not so much what you do is that you do it. To quote Admiral Horatio Nelson, “It is better to proceed with a bad plan than no plan at all.” A bad plan can be made better. No plan is panic.

What I teach all my students when walking from point A to point B is pick a point of no return. Pick a spot between you and your destination and if you feel threatened before that point, go back If you feel threatened past that point, go forward. If you feel threatened from the left go right - well, you get the idea.

The simple act of moving in a predetermined direction puts you in the mode of problem-solver and you only have to solve the problem of a criminal attack for 15 seconds to win.

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