Patty looked the store manger right in the eye and said, “My daughter and I have a plan for shopping together, we have practiced this plan and it is as natural to us as getting ready for school every morning. She does not wander off when we are out together. I know you deal with lost children every day, but this is different, you have to trust me on this and act now.” There was something in Patty’s eyes and in the timbre of her voice that struck the manager in a way he could not explain later but he felt instantly, in his heart, Patty’s sincerity and competence.

Without regard for the enormous hassle it would cause, he locked down the store as tight as a drum. Eight minutes had elapsed by the time the police had been called and store security started a search - Store security apprehended a man trying to take Bonnie out of the store, her hair had been cut, she had been dressed in boys clothing and a baseball cap. The length of this entire episode: 12 minutes. Thank God for happy endings. It was not luck that saved Bonnie from this kidnapper, it is the relationship Patty and Bonnie have with each other to this day.

This level of parent/child interaction is the exception, not the norm, but in today’s world the long term benefits of creating a pro-active family protection program speak for themselves. With four children of my own, I am quite clear that I spend many a day, like the fable Dutch boy, franticly sticking my fingers in the leaking Dike.

Starting any new process is always, up front, labor intensive, but from first hand experience aside from the obvious protection it provides your child, it makes going out in public a breeze, because everybody has and knows their job, all the children gain approval and status in the family by following the rules and coming up with ways to improve the family safety program. In short, everyone is on the same page, the family is working together.

Where to start? Wherever... Rather than overwhelm our children with a complete course of “Safety 101,” pick one place, playing in the yard safety, parking lot safety, inside a mall or store safety- home safety. If your family is really creative and comes up with a dozen safety rules, start with four and add a new one every couple of weeks. Whatever you come up with should be manageable.

As an example: parking lot safety... When your children get out of the car they must stand and wait for you with one hand on the car. When you say it is ok, everyone moves towards the store together. It helps if you make a show of looking around before you give the O.K.

Children learn by example. If you want them to look around they need to see you do it. Everyone holds hands or all hands on the shopping cart while moving through the parking lot. Give your children things to look for - people sitting in cars, back up lights coming on, cars with blacked out windows or vans you cannot see in, which way the arrows point in the driving isles, cars approaching from the front or the back, etc. A couple of things we know about kids, they seek approval and they all want to act grown up so creating safety programs helps satisfy both of these needs.

True story: Kids will make a game out of everything, it is one of the reasons we make a game out of safety. Anyway, my three sons decided to make a game out of who could get out of the car the fastest. Very quickly they were trying to guess when the car would come to stop and jump out. As we say in my part of the county “that dog don’t hunt.” You guessed it - new rule! Nobody unbuckles their set belt until Rebecca or I look around and tell them it is safe to get out of the van.

Here is an idea- once you or a member of your family identifies a safety concern you are half-way home, now you become a problem solver. Including your child in the process of solving safety problems helps them grow up and approach life as a problem solver and not a victim.

The peril to our children is real and each family has only two choices:

1. Ignore the obvious dangers in today’s world and hope for the best.

2. Meet today’s world head on by creating a relationship where you support your child’s efforts to be safe and they actively support your efforts to keep themselves safe.

If you have any questions or some good ideas on safety you would like me to pass on through my articles please contact me at 970-949-8121 or email me at mbayley@comcast.net

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